Home study

Last Thursday we had our home study. At first when I thought about it, I wasn't really too worried. But then I got to thinking more. Of course all that thinking just prompted more worries. Our home is just not like a typical American home. How, you ask? First off, construction-wise it is just not built like an American home and therefore has some quirkiness. In our damp climate, we battle mold year-round (and sometimes we do not win). Our house is mostly constructed out of concrete. With no insulation. This makes our home somewhat drafty. We know and are used to it (hence the many layers we wear). And then to top it all off, we have an ayi -- househelp. I have heard stories about families here whose ayi was included in the home study report and then US Immigration wanted a slew of paperwork on her. Background checks, medical tests, the list goes on. Doesn't that just sound daunting?

Add to the fact that we would be hosting the two women that were coming and this was not going to be your normal visit. They stayed at a hotel, but we were their guides. I met them at the airport in Shanghai and we had the opportunity to talk on the van ride home. We made arrangements that they would come to our house for lunch the next day and we would talk in the afternoon. 

While having them here for lunch was just practical, I think that it set the tone for the entire visit. It was such a relaxed affair. For most of the study, we were on the couches having coffee and tea and just talking. Yes, they asked their tons of questions. But the tone settling over the whole day was one of comfort. In fact, one of the women said that she had never been that relaxed doing a home study.

After all their questions were done, we had the opportunity to get some of ours answered. Our agency is wonderful and has been very helpful, but there are some real limitations when you are operating on opposite time zones. It was so good to sit and just talk with them. And while I know that there is a child, our son in the future, with the myriad of paperwork, it can seem so distant. But talking with them about potential issues just made him seem real. I was describing it to a friend via email the other day that it is like when you are pregnant, but nothing has really changed. But then one day, there is movement and that baby is truly real. That was the home study for me, movement. A step in the right direction. A step closer to our son.

And now, we wait some more. We finally figured out the medical test issue and will have our tests tomorrow. But I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel as far as paperwork goes.