Sunday Snapshot: everything but the kitchen sink. . .

seriously. That is what I feel like I have purchased and am getting ready to pack. We are in serious countdown mode: t-minus 5 days until we board the plane. And you know what? I am ready to go home.

But in answer to what so many people ask. . . what do you buy to take back to China? Each year, it is a little bit different. The one thing that is a constant is that I ALWAYS buy toothpaste. And lots of it. Just as a funny aside, the cashier rarely makes a comment, but just imagine someone buying a year's supply of toothpaste. At one time. Plus a ton of medicines. Yet again a year's supply. And I am surprised that I don't get more comments. I mean, I would notice and think it a little strange that someone was buying 15 tubes of toothpaste. Not to mention the 5 things of deodorant and all the medicines. It honestly took me two years to figure out exactly how much toothpaste we use in a year.

I feel like this could be an I Spy: The Travel Version
I spy 10 tubes of toothpaste, something you want with you when it rains, 4 things that will make you sneeze, and the remedy for a headache.

The great organizing begins. Notice that the duffel bags are still quite empty. Unfortunately, I have just a little more shopping to do. [sigh] I am really, really tired of shopping.

Surprising, we don't buy much food to take back with us. This is a change from our first couple of years. I would buy mostly food (coffee, chocolate, baking supplies . . . the list seemed endless). But now, I buy some things, but have really either been able to find what I need or have just learned to do without. As evidenced by the pictures above, I buy a lot of spices. After getting off skype with Andy, I realized more things I need to buy. This is NOT my favorite kind of shopping. But I think that I am almost done.

Just so you don't think all the packing is organized and tame. This is what it looks like way too often. Can I tell you how tired I am of living out of a suitcase?

The kids and I went out for ice cream tonight. Yes, we are still adhering to our daily ice cream ritual. 5 more days of ice cream left! While we were out, I asked them how they were feeling about going back to China. This is often a mixed bag. Their home is China. They have majority of their friends in China. All of their things are in China. Daddy is already in China. BUT, the U.S. is still their home. They still have friends here that they are sad to say goodbye to. Their grandparents and (some) of their cousins are here and they are definitely NOT ready to say goodbye to them. And this brings about a wealth of emotion. Essentially, they are kids who have 2 homes and are always somewhat torn between them. I really believe though that it is important to bring this up ahead of time and talk through what they are thinking and feeling. So we sat there with our ice cream and thought about all of the things that we were excited to return home to. Their lists were long. Including everything from their friends to their stuff and of course, Daddy. Josh is even excited to eat some of his favorite Chinese foods (namely, lamb kabobs and rabbit legs). But there will be many tears over the next week as we say goodbye to all that we love here.

normalcy

This week was so very normal. At least a typical summer week in the U.S. Filled with things like swimming lessons, camps for the older two, trips to the pool and LOTS of ice cream. So far, we have been pretty consistent and have had ice cream almost every day since landing in the States. It's hard work fitting a year of ice cream into just 7 weeks.

Josh with his swim teacher Nate. Loved the individual pairing of experienced swimmers with those still learning. 

Working on freestyle.

At the beginning of the week, Tori was using floaties and didn't like putting her face in the water. By the end of the week, she was swimming underwater, had learned to do both front and back floats, and passed the intermediate swim test at the YMCA. She is so determined that when she puts her mind to something, there is no stopping her!

People upon finding out that we live in China, make comments like: "Wow, you are so lucky." "It must be quite an experience for you and your children." "What a valuable childhood for them." And while each of these are true, sometimes I just miss the normalcy of life in the States. As you read this (Mom), don't get too excited. I don't miss it enough to move back. At least not yet. But our time here in the summer provides us with those snippets of American life.

Closing ceremonies of camp. B had such a great week. She looks forward to this week all year long. And this year didn't disappoint. Josh went for an overnight and will tackle the week-long-deal next year.

We miss things like meeting friends at the park. The convenience of driving. Ah, don't get me started on how much easier transportation is here. . . But our life is rich and full in China as well. How could I give up my favorite Sichuan restaurant? The diversity of our neighborhood? Each day is an adventure. The summer here provides the balance we need of comfort in contrast to the adventures of our daily life there.

T loves the garden and never misses an opportunity to help pick veggies.

So excited to be holding a hot pepper (that she only enjoys picking NOT eating).

And this summer is living up to expectations and providing all the comfort and calm that we could hope for. Though, I am seriously missing Andy. He left Monday and we are now down to 21 days until we see him again. Also must confess that I am getting a little tired of the 1 pair of shorts, 3 skirts, 10 t-shirts, and 4 tanks I packed. The downside to packing light. Maybe some shopping is in order?

The library. I cannot tell you how much we love the library. I think the library is one of Josh's favorite places in the world.

I love the pile of books sitting off to the side, just waiting to be read.

Hope that you enjoy your weekend!

camp

Each summer as we come back to the US, there are things that are familiar to our children. These things and people mean more to me than I can express. Because our children's reality and norm is NOT the States. I wonder if it is strange and overwhelming for them to be here or comforting like it is to Andy and I. I know that since Becca remembers living here, for her there is comfort of coming back to familiar places and seeing so many people she knows. I am not sure that it is true for our younger two. Most of their life has been spent in China. But because this is not our children's norm, I worry about things that would not even be on my radar in Suzhou or if we lived here. As I drop Tori off for Sunday school, she gets worried. She told me: "what if I don't know anyone? what if they don't like me? what if they laugh at me?" And how can I as a Mom, not worry? But then a special friend comes along that she remembers and makes her feel right at home. And that means so much more than I can express.

Sunday I dropped Becca off at camp. This is a church camp that she attends every year and she knows some girls who attend as well. But when we got there, she discovered that one of her good friends who she was looking forward to being with was in a different cabin. And of course I worried. I mean, she only knew a handful of people there and it felt like others know one another so well. I even asked if she wanted me to talk to someone and see if she could be moved. And my girlie, so mature answered, "no, Mom. It will work out. I am disappointed that I won't be with Sarah, but I will see her and maybe even make some new friends." Yeah, message received: RELAX A BIT, MOM.

I don't think I will ever really let go and not worry about our kids. I mean, what mother can ever stop worrying? I will always watch them as we come back into this familiar-environment-but-not-quite-their-home. But at the same time, I will try to relax. To trust that this transition is not as big as I make it. Really, I will try to relax. Not making any promises though.

Great expectations

The day is looming ahead of us on the calendar. . . 40 days until we get on the plane to go back to the United States. We look forward to this special time with the people we love each year. But I must confess something to you. . .

All I am feeling right now is: STRESS.

In fact whenever we sit down to plan or figure out our schedule, a hard ball of stress settles in my stomach.

To our dear family and friends, please don't read this wrong. We are so looking forward to seeing you and spending time with you. But the reality is, we will not make everyone happy during our trip. Everyone has expectations of us and how much they want to see us. But our time is limited and then geography just limits us even more. Andy will only be back 2 weeks. How in the world can we see everyone, with enough time in two weeks? It is just impossible. So even as I type, I am trying to let this go. We will do our best to balance. To share the love. But I am just asking for a little bit of grace. Hopefully, if I can work through this now, by the time we touch down on US soil, I will be okay. I can enjoy our time without that little black cloud following me around. You would think that we would be getting the hang of this. But honestly, each year it is hard. But I am going to let go, giving it up to the Lord. And maybe, just maybe I can truly let all those people-pleasing-tendencies slip away. Here's to hoping, anyway.

Last Ice Cream

Tori enjoying a last ice cream at Graeter's.

Bittersweet

Our time in the US is rapidly slipping away. I would say that leaving our home in the US and returning home to China is definitely bittersweet. We miss Andy. We miss our friends in China. I am seriously missing good Chinese food. Well, at least authentic Chinese food. This year I didn't even try to eat at a Chinese restaurant (last year it was a disappointing experience). But at the same time, we are so sad to say good bye to family and friends. I will miss driving. I will miss all those conveniences of living here. Hard to explain what I thinking and feeling today. Our bags are packed. The kids are off at the zoo enjoying a last day in the US. And I am feeling melancholy. I think today is my day to grieve leaving the US. Tomorrow I will be excited and ready to get on the plane. But I just need today to say goodbye. Which is kind of ironic considering I haven't seen anybody today. Thank you, dear friends and family for a great summer. For keeping in touch with us and making time for us when we are back. Know that when I get on that plane tomorrow, I will leave a part of my heart here with you all.

Week to go

We are on the home stretch of our visit to the U.S. And I must say that I am pretty much ready to go back to China. I miss Andy and being in our own house. So I have begun the organization of the packing. When we come back to the U.S., I am not stressed about packing and usually just pack the day before we leave. Going back to China is a different story. There are a number of things that we buy here and take back with us. In fact, I roll up several duffel bags within our suitcases and then fill those with all of our goods. I think that I am mostly done with the shopping. In all honesty, even if I wasn't I just reach a point where I declare it done. Because I am strange and am not the biggest fan of shopping. Then I either have to find it in China or just deal without it. My packing list looks like the most random of things.

• Deodorant (a year's supply)
• Books
• Spices (grilling spices, taco seasoning, cajun seasoning)
• Toothpaste
• Vitamins
• Even more books
• Coffee

While I have plenty of room, I am a little concerned about weight. But even in spite of that, I think there is one more trip to Half Price Books in our future. Because everyone knows, you can never have too many books! (Especially in a country where buying English books, especially children's books is difficult).

Living out of a suitcase

Today I am packing again. I have lost count of the number of times that I have packed and re-packed our suitcases this summer (I am guessing at least 5-6). We come to the U.S. with several LARGE suitcases. If this is any indication, our kids have appropriately dubbed the biggest one of them "big red." Since big red does not need to accompany us everywhere, I usually just use one suitcase for all of us. Living out of a suitcase is not my favorite thing and poses some logistical challenges. Case in point the camera cord (which thankfully, I finally found just yesterday). And earlier in the week, I couldn't find the kids hairbrush for several days. But now that I have found that cord, I will think about posting some pictures from the summer.

In other news, Andy is safely back in China. I am so thankful to our friends there who are looking out for him while we are away. He has only been back 4 days and I think he has seen friends 3 of those nights.

Goodbyes abound

Yesterday I dropped off Becca at camp for the week. I am so excited for her and the fun things she will get to experience this week. But my excitement does not even begin to compare to what she was feeling. She has been looking forward to this for months. She was all packed up and ready Saturday (honestly, if we had been in Cincy earlier I think she would have been packed up way before). Then this morning Andy boarded a plane to return to China. While I don't regret our staying longer, we miss him so once he leaves. But it is worth it to get extra time with family and friends. I mean once we have come all this way (and only returning to the US once a year), it seems silly to return after only 2.5 weeks. Right now the younger two are outside enjoying Josh's new rocket launcher. We are off to run one errand (I have promised the kids that it will be only one. I think we are just a bit done with shopping). Then we are off to enjoy this beautiful day at a park. Quiet days like this are the whole reason it is worth it to stay. So I hope that you too can enjoy this wonderful day.

Tire swing

In Cincinnati, we stay with Dwight and Duease (Andy's mom and step-dad). She had told us about a tire swing that they recently had put up in their backyard. Our kids have been LOVING it! I will let the pictures speak for themselves (these were before our camera cord went MIA -- see next post for more).

This is seriously one of the longest tire swing ropes I have ever seen. Can you see how high up it goes?

Our kiddos had the great idea that they could put the sprinkler by the tire swing and swing through it. Doesn't this just epitomize being a kid in the summer?

I feel like this is a punchline to a joke. . . how many kids does it take to pull the tire swing?

3 weeks already?

We have been in the U.S. for 3 weeks and I am just getting around to blogging. While it is true that we have been busy, mainly I blame it on our camera. Somewhere along the line, I have lost the cord for our camera. Considering we are on our 3rd state since arriving, it is not too surprising. Ah the joys of living life out of suitcase for weeks on end! Somehow to me blogging without pictures is like only telling half of the story. Know that there are stories to be told and adventures are being had. Hopefully, sometime soon I will be able to communicate them to you.

Anyway. . . we have been in Cincinnati, Indianapolis, and even took a trip to the Smokey Mountains. While it is great to do fun and exciting things (like go to Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, an event that clearly needs its own entry), I must confess that some of our favorite things have been the mundane: going to the library, playing outside, and seeing people we love.

Going home?

We have been getting ready for our annual trip to the US. As I have been talking to friends here, I keep saying, "we go home _______." , "when we go home, _______". But the other day I got to thinking. . . where is home? Because by the end of the summer, I am again telling people, "we go home ______." Is our home the US? Of course. This is especially true for Andy, Becca, Josh, and I. B in particular has distinct memories of living in the US. But we sometimes wonder what our youngest actually remembers of living in the US. And even if we moved to another country tomorrow (not that we are planning on that, I'm just saying), the US would still be home and claim a piece of our hearts. But then, is China our home? Definitely, we have a house here, a life here. But does one trump the other? And that, I think, is a truly hard question. This is illustrated as we fill out forms. Just yesterday Andy was trying to pay with Paypal, but because our phone number wasn't located in the same postal code as our address, it freaked out and refused the transaction. We claim an old Indy phone number (cause really, who wants or will honestly call a China #?), with a Seattle address, but actually are in neither of these places. From the outside, it sounds like we are a little confused. Or you can see the evidence in talking with Tori as she jumps from Chinese and English with ease. I think one of our great lessons is to find home no matter where our family is. Because what really defines home? A place? Last summer when we returned to China, I got off the plane in Shanghai, breathed in the thick, humid air with that distinct China smell, and I felt like I was home. Or in the US as I hear our kids laughing and playing with friends they have known their whole lives, I am home.

Gearing up

We leave China in just a little over a week. I think that I have everything bought. I have pondering packing, but in reality will pack just a couple days before we leave. On our way back to the U.S., we will make a stop in Japan to see Dave and Amree (Andy's bro and sister-in-law). They are expecting a baby and due any day. I have hopes that I will get to snuggle that little one during our time there, but as we all know babies come on their own time! Someone asked what I need to do to get ready to go back to the U.S. And honestly, it is not nearly as much work as getting ready to come back to China. The shopping that I need to do on this side is for gifts. Now in the U.S., I have a ton of shopping of things that we bring back every year. I have also been getting my lists in order of what I need to buy, do, accomplish while stateside. Though that is not a favorite task because it can seem like an overwhelming amount to accomplish in just 6 weeks. The kids have begun to pack their bags. They each have a small suitcase that they take on the plane with them. Becca often packs hers, thinks about it, unpacks some things, and then re-packs it several times. I cannot say that I blame her for wanting to get it just right -- 14 hours is a LONG time to be on a plane! But in the meantime, there is a lot going on here. Andy's boss and family arrived from the U.S., we have taught English several times this week, plus all of the usual end of the school year things. I think that I will breathe a big sigh of relief when we get on the plane. . .

Finals

We are leaving before my semester is over, so I am in the midst of taking finals. Which is only one of many reasons why I haven't posted. There has been some craziness with taking these tests. I found out last Tuesday that my final for Hanyu (my grammar and characters class) would be on Friday. Aagh! So I spent the week frantically studying. I think the test went fairly well, but should get my results today. My spoken class test will be this week. Now granted, I still don't know the day, but you just have to roll with it or it will drive you crazy.

So the countdown has begun. . . . 25 days until we are on a plane. First to Japan, then on to the States. I have been so busy that I haven't been able to even give it a thought. Maybe once finals are done, it will be more real. The kids are all getting excited. Becca has been longing to pack her bag for weeks. But I told her she had to wait until less than 20 days before the flight. I on the other hand, will be packing days before we leave. Much less stressful heading to the U.S. If I forget anything, I can easily buy it. :-)

Jet Lag again

Jet lag is a nasty thing. Before we moved to China, Andy and I had both traveled various other places and had some experiences with jet lag. But really, I had no idea what an ugly thing jet lag was until: 1. traveling to Asia and 2. experiencing it with small kids. The time difference between where we are in China and Eastern Standard Time is 12 hours. So essentially, we need to totally flip our days and nights. Usually, you fade early each night and have to power through it to stay awake until a resonable bedtime (you know, like 9 PM). Gradually you push it back until you are on schedule. As an adult, I can force myself to stay awake, but just try and explain that to a 3 year old. The other challenge is that each morning your body thinks it is time to wake long before any sane person would be getting up. This week Tori has gotten up at: 3:30, 2:30, 4:00, 5:30, and 5:00 and yes that is AM! (yawn) This is why we planned to arrive in China over a week before school started just to give us all a chance to get on the right time.  Eventually, we will be sleeping at the right time, but until then we will continue to see this at 6:30 PM:

Flying Solo

The kids and I left Cincinnati last Thursday (August 20th). While I thought that they would do great and that the trip would go well, I still had a few concerns about flying solo with three kids (to China) for the first time. We had planned it so that we didn't take off too early. I was thinking that I would just do curbside check-in because I had beaucoup bags - we checked 5 bags and a box. But it seems that things were conspiring against me. When we got to the Delta curbside check-in, I was told that due to the merger with Northwest that NW's curbside check-in wasn't working. But when another man came along and asked if I wanted help in with my bags (of course, in return for a gratuity- which I normally avoid at all costs, because I am indeed cheap), I gratefully answered yes. 

We were flying Cincinnati to Detroit and then Detroit to Shanghai. Our first leg of the flight was uneventful and we arrived in Detroit with over 3 hours to kill. We ate lunch and then found all 3 play areas in the Detroit airport. :-) One moment that amused and annoyed me in turns: I had taken all the kids into the family bathroom. And can I state that I think family bathrooms are WONDERFUL. While we were in there, someone began knocking on the door. I politely called out "Just a minute. Lots of people in here." The knocking continued rather insistently until we finished. When I came out, a woman barged in. Yes, just a woman. Her friend wondered why it had taken so long. I, the woman traveling alone with 3 kids, looked at her in disbelief and said that there was a women's bathroom right around the corner. She then informed me that there was a line and she didn't want to wait. I stared at her speechless and walked away from the FAMILY bathroom. I mean really, people. Okay, enough with my bathroom stories! 

We boarded for our 14-hour flight around 3:30 PM. Can I just tell you all that I think my kids are fabulous? They had had grumpy moments off and on all day, but really they did amazingly well on the long flight. Especially considering that the in-flight entertainment was on overhead screens that they couldn't even see. They read, played, ate, and slept some. Becca had some trouble getting comfortable and going to sleep, but at one point all of them were asleep for almost 2 hours. Truly incredible! We landed in Shanghai and staggered tiredly through long lines in quarantine and immigration. Tori kind of grumped all the way through wanting me to hold her. Which was rather impossible as I held all of our carry-on bags. Andy met us after we had picked up our bags and went through customs. A 2 hour drive later and we were home. And after it all was done, I would plan on doing it again in order to have more time in the U.S.

Leaving....

We are leaving Thursday (tomorrow) AM. I have such mixed emotions about this. I am excited to get back home, but at the same time I am sad to leave all the people we love. I expect that at least one of the kids and I will be fighting tears on the plane. My guess is that Josh will have the hardest time because he is just my emotional guy. I am mostly packed. And hopefully, my bags won't be overweight! So, if you have a moment tomorrow, think of me and the 3 kiddos winging our way back. I am hoping for no delays and kids who sleep!

Looking ahead

We have had an amazing time back this summer, but all good and wonderful things do come to an end. I have mixed emotions about this. It has been relaxing to blend in and do everyday things without being stared at. And it has been so good to see family and friends. But I find myself longing for home and our normal routines. I also greatly miss Andy. We have now been apart for 11 days and still have 10 more before we will see each other. This marks the longest time we will have been apart since we got married. In the meantime, I am going to take a trip to Seattle solo. You read that right.... I will get on an airplane by myself and then have the opportunity to spend 3 days with one of my dearest friends. But first, I am off to finish my shopping and begin the challenge of packing. (yet again. I have lost count of how many times I have packed and unpacked this summer.) This vacation has been a blessing, but also a ton of WORK. :-D

Date night

For some crazy reason, we took pictures of us separately and none together. Who knows what we were thinking?! (If you can't read the sign, this is the Purple People Bridge)

While we were in Cincy, we left the kids with grandma for a night and had a night out. We went to Ambar Indian (one of our absolute favorite places) and then headed to Sawyer Point to walk across the Purple People Bridge and on to the Newport Levy. Even though I did not grow up in Cincinnati, it seems like home to me because I went to college there and then we lived there for our first couple years of marriage. As we walked along the levy and looked across the Ohio River to Cincinnati, I was struck with how small the city looked to me. I wasn't even comparing it to anything else in my mind, but it just seems a bit smaller than I remember. Maybe it is similar to when you are a child and certain things or places seem huge, but when you come back years later those things seem to have shrunk. Obviously, nothing around me has changed but I know that I have. And often until you come across moments like those you don't even realize how you have changed. So Andy and I sat there on the levy watching the sunset and reminiscing. On our time in Cincinnati, but also over our last year. Sometimes as I have been back this summer it has seemed so surreal. Here are places that are so familiar to us but yet at the same time they seem different. While I know that my perspective has changed, I can't always point at something specific and say, "That. That is the difference in me." But I do think that one of the biggest differences this year has brought about in me is my willingness to adapt. And really the expectation that I will need to adapt on a daily basis. This last year has often brought me to the point where I realize that my attitude about an event or circumstance makes all the difference. Because I often have little control about the circumstance or problem, only my reaction to it. Really that is true no matter where we live, but I think it just becomes more pronounced living in such a radically different culture. And as I have had ups and downs, I am realizing more and more that choosing to have joy and see humor in crazy circumstances drastically alters the outcome. Not necessarily of the event but maybe my remembrance of it and how it impacts me and our family. Wow, how did I get from our date night to here? I guess as I remember all that we were talking about, I got to thinking. One conclusion that Andy and I realized is that we are so glad that we took that step and made the move last year. What an adventure it has been!

Back to Cincy

Just for the record I am still several weeks behind, but I want to chronicle our time back in the US. After spending a week with my parents in Vandalia, we returned to Cincinnati and were able to see lots of friends and spend some more time with family. 

Monday we went with Dwight and Duease to the Cincinnati Zoo. For years when we lived in Cincinnati we were zoo members. So coming to the zoo was so familiar even with all of the recent changes and additions there. I did feel like I should qualify for a previous member discount. You know, like a zoo alumni members perk or something. Ah well, just my frugal self coming out and not wanting to shell out full-price for all of us!

Watching the gorillas

Riding on the scooter with grandpa was a much coveted experience!

Feeding the goats at the Children's zoo. I love how Tori has her mouth open-wide.

Becca enjoyed feeding the goats. She just did not want them getting too close to her. Her expression says it all.

Tuesday through Thursday Becca attended a nature camp through the Hamilton County Parks. She had a wonderful time. When we were talking about coming back for the summer, Becca and I were discussing if she might want to attend a camp. Being me (and the researcher I am), I had read that this was a good idea for kids to keep some normalcy about the summer. Because as we travel all over the midwest, much of our time is busy and essentially like a 6 week holiday. While that sounds like a good idea in theory, in practice it can be tiring and overwhelming for everybody. So it is good to not just do all the fun and exciting things (like the zoo and museums), but also some normal summer activities as well. We talked about all kinds of camps and she landed on nature camp. I warned her that she would not know anyone and asked if she would be okay with that. Her response: "Well, I will know people by the end of the week." Now Josh's response was his eyes got big and he said, "Do I have to go? I think I just want to spend time at grandma's house." Amazing how different they are!

Thursday I picked up Becca from camp and then we were off to our next stop in the Wilcox crazy summer visit train- Indianapolis.