camp

Each summer as we come back to the US, there are things that are familiar to our children. These things and people mean more to me than I can express. Because our children's reality and norm is NOT the States. I wonder if it is strange and overwhelming for them to be here or comforting like it is to Andy and I. I know that since Becca remembers living here, for her there is comfort of coming back to familiar places and seeing so many people she knows. I am not sure that it is true for our younger two. Most of their life has been spent in China. But because this is not our children's norm, I worry about things that would not even be on my radar in Suzhou or if we lived here. As I drop Tori off for Sunday school, she gets worried. She told me: "what if I don't know anyone? what if they don't like me? what if they laugh at me?" And how can I as a Mom, not worry? But then a special friend comes along that she remembers and makes her feel right at home. And that means so much more than I can express.

Sunday I dropped Becca off at camp. This is a church camp that she attends every year and she knows some girls who attend as well. But when we got there, she discovered that one of her good friends who she was looking forward to being with was in a different cabin. And of course I worried. I mean, she only knew a handful of people there and it felt like others know one another so well. I even asked if she wanted me to talk to someone and see if she could be moved. And my girlie, so mature answered, "no, Mom. It will work out. I am disappointed that I won't be with Sarah, but I will see her and maybe even make some new friends." Yeah, message received: RELAX A BIT, MOM.

I don't think I will ever really let go and not worry about our kids. I mean, what mother can ever stop worrying? I will always watch them as we come back into this familiar-environment-but-not-quite-their-home. But at the same time, I will try to relax. To trust that this transition is not as big as I make it. Really, I will try to relax. Not making any promises though.