traditions

Traditions are important in every family. When you get married, as a couple you start creating this backdrop of what you want your life to look like. The two of you decide what from your own experiences you want to hold onto and preserve and what you are willing to let go. As the years march on, your traditions often grow and change. For us, after we had children it became important to us to be in our own home for Christmas. How this looks each year has been different. When we lived in Indianapolis, it meant that we traveled before or after, but Christmas morning we woke up in our own beds. Now, living half a world away from our families maintaining this tradition is easier, but it still looks a bit different. Since moving to China, we often invite others to spend Christmas afternoon with us. Our children are still in their pajamas, but our home is open. So this is a twist on a tradition that we started in the States. Each Christmas morning, I am never really sure who might drop by. If you ever find yourself in Suzhou (or whatever city we live in), know that I will have made several kinds of soup, we will be playing all kinds of games, and you are always welcome to join us.

As we are approaching our 5th Christmas here in China, I have been thinking about how living here has changed our traditions. And also how it has reinforced others. When we lived in Indy, we would always buy a real tree and we had so many special things that accompanied that. And while there are times when I miss the smell of a real tree, I am so thankful for our IKEA tree. So there is a tradition that we have let go and honestly don't miss.

2008 -- setting up our first fake tree.

But one of my favorite traditions is our children's ornaments. Before Becca was born, I wanted to buy her an ornament each year for her to have on our tree that was especially hers. But I was not alone in this idea. Each of the grandparents also wanted to get ornaments for the children each year. I quickly realized that if we were adding 3 new ornaments each year per child, our tree was going to be quickly overrun! So this is one where I happily bowed out and let the grandparents have their fun. But I still get to be part it because every year as we pull out the decorations, each of the children are practically giddy to open their ornament box. There are so many memories tucked away in these boxes. As they unwrap them, there are cries of: "Do you remember....?" and "I got this one when....". We debated about moving our Christmas stuff all the way here. But I am so glad that we did. Because no matter where we are, for our children these boxes have so many special memories of Christmas. It is not the tree that matters so much, but all the memories that we stash on it.

Josh opening his new ornament this year. 

For me personally, in order for it to feel like Christmas, I need to bake. I will end up baking several times during the month. But not just any baking, I need to bake/make several specific kinds of cookies: sugar cookies (no icing, we are purists here), candy cane cookies, thumbprints, buckeyes, and then I usually experiment with a new kind each year. Thankfully, I am not alone in the kitchen. Josh is my most consistent helper. In the past, I have done a lot of the baking while they were at school. But this year, I am looking forward to having all of my little helpers in the kitchen with me. This is our last week of school and then we are taking the next three weeks off. We will still do a little work, but most of it will be fun stuff that doesn't even really feel like working. I have promised B that we will not open the math book for that entire time. We might do a little writing and I plan to learn more about Swan Lake before we attend the ballet. I also have a few craft projects that we might attempt.

2008 -- making buckeyes

J started the dough for the sugar cookies

And Becca joined in to help cut them out.

What about you? What traditions are important to your family? If you packed your family and moved to another state or even further away, what traditions would you be certain to keep?

musings

So, November 3rd, where did you come from? In fact, where did the whole month of October go? As we are starting into November, I feel like we have established some good routines with our homeschooling. The kids are understanding my expectations of them and are becoming much more self-directed. In adoption news, we are STILL waiting for our LID [log-in-date] because of one tiny piece of paper. Or should I say, lack of said piece of paper. I must confess that I find that a bit frustrating. I hear stories of people who get their paperwork done in record time with no muss or fuss. And I have to tell you, that has not been us.

What happened in October? We had the first week off and enjoyed a wonderful staycation here in Suzhou. Andy traveled the following week and we resumed school and life as normal. From then the month seems a bit of a blur. We had our first field trip with our homeschool coop. Of course, true to my normal, I didn't take ANY pictures of our time. I lugged the camera all around in the bag and didn't use it. I am amazed at the moms who have more children than I, and their blogs are filled with beautiful photographs. Maybe that is something I can aspire to. I think that maybe a more reasonable goal for me would be a decent photo accompanying each post.

And then I would fail that this time as I have absolutely no pictures to post. [sigh] Maybe next time.

Blog drought

For some reason over this last month, I have not felt at all inspired to write. Much has happened. And right now as a family we are pondering some big things. But I have just not felt ready to share these things with the world at large. So hence the quietness. I think that I have just needed to time to ponder and journal the old-fashion way (in a pretty little notebook). But I think that I am ready to break my self-induced silence.

So, hello again to all of you. While I have no illusions about catching up on all that has gone on in our lives, I will share the highlights. Let the marathon blogging begin.

Happiness is . . .

I was reading another blog yesterday and someone posted about things that made her happy. It reminded me of the day before when I had been looking back over pictures of the last year. And even before reading her blog, I was smiling and thinking of why each of those pictures made me happy. Really they made me happy because our kids, my amazing husband, and our crazy life makes me happy.  Those pictures made me happy because each one represented a memory, a fun experience. So in the midst of a week of sickness, I am reminded of what it is that brings me joy and happiness.

Happiness is . . .

. . . finding joy when things don't go as planned. When it is only 65°F for your beach vacation. But then that time turns out even better than what WE imagined.

. . . jumping in the waves in a sweatshirt.

 Happiness is . . .

. . . hearing the kids beg to "Read just one more chapter, Mom." 

. . . sharing the love of a great book together. When we travel, we take a book to read as a family. And we have literally read on a plane, while waiting for a train, in a boat, and while drinking yummy floats.

Happiness is . . .

. . . embracing every step of the journey. 

Happiness is . . .

. . . watching your kids grow in their self-confidence. And knowing that they are happy.

Happiness is . . .

. . . enjoying the ridiculousness of our kiddos. Tori was absolutely insistent that she was not going on the  Rafting Ride unless we guaranteed her that she would NOT get wet. 

Happiness is . . .

. . . cousins! Time with family is a precious thing, but it becomes an even more sacred and wonderful thing when you live so far away. (Though to be fair, this cousin and his Mom and Dad are practically our neighbors, living in Japan)

And most of all, happiness is . . .

. . . the adventure of life. The happy, healthy days and the sick, sad ones as well. 

So what is making you happy today?

Spring? And other random musings

Spring has been slowly creeping up on us with flashes of beauty and warmth. Like the trees that are flowering about the city. Currently it is 9°C (48°F for my US friends), but I have hopes of warmer days. Spring, or at least what I think of as true Spring weather is rather short here in Suzhou. We linger in the lower teens (high 40s-low 50s) with threats of rain and then all of the sudden we jump up to the high 20s (low 80s). Somehow we skip, or least move very quickly though my favorite temps. You know the days where you wear jeans and just a shirt with maybe a sweater, but by the afternoon it is warm enough to wear just ONE layer? Oh, those are the days. But unfortunately, during Spring those days are shy and just don't come that often. But today, in spite of my many layers (and yes, we are still working the long underwear -- even under the jeans!), the sun and this beautiful flowering tree gave the promise that Spring is indeed on her way and will be visiting us shortly.

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In other news, it seems that all of that studying worked and the characters did indeed stick (for now). So for today, maybe not tomorrow because my brain is getting older and more like a sieve, I can write the character for earthquake. Just in case you ever need to know it. I came home after class to work with Tori on reading, and let me tell you I wonder what is in the future for our littlest. She is so creative that she takes my breath away and constantly astounds me. Just today, she wondered why she couldn't fly and asked if she could talk to God about helping her to fly. She then proceeded to earnestly pray that God would help her fly and was disappointed when she still couldn't. But I have to love her faith that what she asks for will be given. But being T, she was not down for long, instead just decided that she would be a pilot so she could fly. Of each of our children, she is having the most unique experience here in China. She attends a school where she is the only foreigner, where Chinese is spoken all day (rarely a word of English), and she sees this as normal. She asked me last week what her job will be when she is a grown up living in China. I told her that she may not live in China, she might live in the US or somewhere else. She then asked, "Or Vietnam? Or Thailand?" Of course, I answered that she might live any of those places. We just didn't know what the future held. She looked at me and said, "I might live somewhere else." When I asked her if they spoke a different language what would she do, she promptly responded with, "It's ok, Mommy. I am really good at learning languages."

And that my friends, is just one of the many reasons why life is good on the other side of the world. ;-)

Silence

Often when I have a period of silence of blogging it generally means that I am just too busy to write. But this last week, unfortunately my silence has been for another reason. I have spent much of the last week sick. :-P So while the kids were off to their first days of school, I spent much of my time on the couch. Though I am still not feeling great, I hope to be doing well enough for my first day of school tomorrow. But for now, I think the couch is calling to me for one more nap...

Bittersweet

Our time in the US is rapidly slipping away. I would say that leaving our home in the US and returning home to China is definitely bittersweet. We miss Andy. We miss our friends in China. I am seriously missing good Chinese food. Well, at least authentic Chinese food. This year I didn't even try to eat at a Chinese restaurant (last year it was a disappointing experience). But at the same time, we are so sad to say good bye to family and friends. I will miss driving. I will miss all those conveniences of living here. Hard to explain what I thinking and feeling today. Our bags are packed. The kids are off at the zoo enjoying a last day in the US. And I am feeling melancholy. I think today is my day to grieve leaving the US. Tomorrow I will be excited and ready to get on the plane. But I just need today to say goodbye. Which is kind of ironic considering I haven't seen anybody today. Thank you, dear friends and family for a great summer. For keeping in touch with us and making time for us when we are back. Know that when I get on that plane tomorrow, I will leave a part of my heart here with you all.

Week to go

We are on the home stretch of our visit to the U.S. And I must say that I am pretty much ready to go back to China. I miss Andy and being in our own house. So I have begun the organization of the packing. When we come back to the U.S., I am not stressed about packing and usually just pack the day before we leave. Going back to China is a different story. There are a number of things that we buy here and take back with us. In fact, I roll up several duffel bags within our suitcases and then fill those with all of our goods. I think that I am mostly done with the shopping. In all honesty, even if I wasn't I just reach a point where I declare it done. Because I am strange and am not the biggest fan of shopping. Then I either have to find it in China or just deal without it. My packing list looks like the most random of things.

• Deodorant (a year's supply)
• Books
• Spices (grilling spices, taco seasoning, cajun seasoning)
• Toothpaste
• Vitamins
• Even more books
• Coffee

While I have plenty of room, I am a little concerned about weight. But even in spite of that, I think there is one more trip to Half Price Books in our future. Because everyone knows, you can never have too many books! (Especially in a country where buying English books, especially children's books is difficult).

Birthdays and other random musings

Last week was Andy's birthday and tomorrow is mine. And for both of them we are apart (he is back in China and I am currently at my parents'). So maybe this is one of the reasons that the birthday does not seem like a big deal. Though I am told that this number is the beginning of middle age. Really? Huh. I don't feel middle aged. My response to that is that I won't be middle aged until I have a teenager. Somehow those are linked in my mind. No clue as to why. . .

Sure I will go out to eat with my parents tomorrow. And I really don't dread the day or even the getting older. But for some reason it just seems like another day. I think a bigger day for me is our anniversary. Which coincidentally is next week. And you guessed it, we will be apart for that one too. For me that seems like a more significant marking of time. This year we celebrate 12 years. 12 years of wonderful life -- challenges and adventures and through it all just walking it together. So to my wonderful companion on this journey, happy birthday and anniversary (though you can't read this due to the great firewall. hmm, maybe I will email it to you). We will have some celebrating to do when I get home!

Going home?

We have been getting ready for our annual trip to the US. As I have been talking to friends here, I keep saying, "we go home _______." , "when we go home, _______". But the other day I got to thinking. . . where is home? Because by the end of the summer, I am again telling people, "we go home ______." Is our home the US? Of course. This is especially true for Andy, Becca, Josh, and I. B in particular has distinct memories of living in the US. But we sometimes wonder what our youngest actually remembers of living in the US. And even if we moved to another country tomorrow (not that we are planning on that, I'm just saying), the US would still be home and claim a piece of our hearts. But then, is China our home? Definitely, we have a house here, a life here. But does one trump the other? And that, I think, is a truly hard question. This is illustrated as we fill out forms. Just yesterday Andy was trying to pay with Paypal, but because our phone number wasn't located in the same postal code as our address, it freaked out and refused the transaction. We claim an old Indy phone number (cause really, who wants or will honestly call a China #?), with a Seattle address, but actually are in neither of these places. From the outside, it sounds like we are a little confused. Or you can see the evidence in talking with Tori as she jumps from Chinese and English with ease. I think one of our great lessons is to find home no matter where our family is. Because what really defines home? A place? Last summer when we returned to China, I got off the plane in Shanghai, breathed in the thick, humid air with that distinct China smell, and I felt like I was home. Or in the US as I hear our kids laughing and playing with friends they have known their whole lives, I am home.

Blog slacker

Wow, has it really been 10 days since my last post? Gracious, I really am a blog-slacker recently. So, I haven't blogged because I have just been so busy. What have been doing, you ask? Umm, well, nothing really exciting, just life. Going to class, the market, picking up and dropping off kids, studying. Life is just marching along. As an aside, today marks 2 years of us living in China. Time has just flown especially this last year. While I am sure that there are things about this culture that will always perplex me, so much I just take in stride and think nothing about anymore. I have been pondering recently about not blogging anymore. I feel like I am telling the same stories over. Thoughts?

听不懂 (ting bu dong)

You can't live in China without hearing this phrase on a regular basis. A Chinese individual will ask you a question, then if it seems that you can't answer they will respond with: 听不懂 ting bu dong. This means "hear but don't understand." So far, I have judged my progress by the amount (or lack of) 听不懂 ting bu dong's I get on a daily basis. When we first arrived (and to be honest, throughout our first year), it would frustrate me to no end. A person would fire a rapid question at me, wait 2 seconds, laugh, and then tell me 听不懂 ting bu dong! But this phrase has come to show me just how far I have to go in this marathon of learning Chinese. Because every time I start to think, "I am really starting to understand people" or "I had a really good conversation - ALL in Chinese", then I will talk with someone and understand NOTHING coming out of their mouth except 听不懂 ting bu dong. (sigh) Have I mentioned before that learning Chinese is a way God helps to keep me humble? Because seriously, I have to put aside my pride in everything I am (my background, education, ...) and realize that to a Chinese person I sound very uneducated. It also serves to remind me of how often I am quick to judge. You know what I mean, you are somewhere in the U.S. and someone has really poor English. We are quick to think certain things about that individual. And honestly, I am sure that the Chinese that I meet have certain judgements about me as well. But if living here is teaching me nothing else, I hope that I am learning to withhold judgements about people and realize that we are each unique and gifted in some way.

Sometimes.....

I just miss the most random things. Yes, the people are the obvious one. But this last week as I have had more time on my hands, I have realized little crazy things that I miss. What are they you ask? Here they are (in no particular order)....

1. Having a light over my kitchen sink. Isn't that a strange one? But often as Andy or I (well, to be honest it is more often Andy) do dishes at night we have to get really close to ensure that are plates are actually getting clean. Surprisingly, I really don't miss the dishwasher. Maybe because I married one? :-) But really in the States he did the dinner dishes and I did everything else.

2. One stop shopping. When we were visiting the U.S. this summer, I was reminded of how easy it is to go to the store, get everything you need and leave (and do it all fairly quickly). The fact that I don't drive just adds to the complicatedness. I have 3 stores (plus the fruit and veggie market) that I go to on a regular basis. And really I need to go to all 3 or we end of just doing without certain things.

3. Reece's peanut butter cups. My great weakness. But I must confess that when people come to visit and bring them, it just makes them even more special.

4. Communicating with ease. Yes, each day gets easier. But it still happens all the time, where someone will ask me something and I have no clue what they just said. RIght now, I have enough language to be dangerous. I start talking with people and they realize that I understand what they are saying. Then because they think that I am more fluent than I really am, they start speaking quickly with more complicated vocabulary and I am immediately lost. Thankfully, at least now I can ask them to repeat it and talk slower. A funny side note is that I notice that often even when I speak English, I speak slower and use simpler words. Since many people that I know are not native English speakers, both Andy and I overall just speak slower.

5. Solitude. I don't think I can ever fully explain this one. Not only am I rarely alone, but people are always watching with curiosity. Like stop what they doing and watch. What is the foreigner doing? Why is she doing that? Even in my home, I am not alone. Granted I have the amazing benefit of household help but what I sacrifice is my privacy. I don't think I truly realized what a private person I am until recently.

Surprisingly to me, what I don't miss are my wide array of kitchen gadgetry. I kind of like how I have gotten used to just having less stuff. When we sold most of our things to move here, some people asked if we would miss it. Honestly, as you can see it is not the "stuff" that I miss. We gave a lot of stuff away and since we are so far away Christmas/b-day gifts become much more minimalist. Even at 1 1/2 years in, it is a freeing thing.

The other thing that has surprised me of late is our view of heating has changed. I am currently sitting in my house and it is around 55 F (13 C) inside and I don't have the heat turned on. Instead we layer up (yup, still working the long underwear) and snuggle under blankets in the evening. I have discovered though that my threshold is right around 50. Much colder than that in the house and I want the heat on.

I looked back at this old post to see what I was missing early on. Funny how things have changed! Now it is definitely less about the food. I have either been able to find those things or just do without. All in all, we continue to be so grateful for this adventure we find ourselves on. I picked up Tori from school yesterday and then we stopped at the park on our way home. Several of her classmates were there with their grandmas. It was so amazing to me as I watched our girl run around with her friends jabbering on in Chinese. She obviously felt so at ease. Mind you this is the same girl who used to scream every time a Chinese person spoke to her. How far we have all come!

Date night

For some crazy reason, we took pictures of us separately and none together. Who knows what we were thinking?! (If you can't read the sign, this is the Purple People Bridge)

While we were in Cincy, we left the kids with grandma for a night and had a night out. We went to Ambar Indian (one of our absolute favorite places) and then headed to Sawyer Point to walk across the Purple People Bridge and on to the Newport Levy. Even though I did not grow up in Cincinnati, it seems like home to me because I went to college there and then we lived there for our first couple years of marriage. As we walked along the levy and looked across the Ohio River to Cincinnati, I was struck with how small the city looked to me. I wasn't even comparing it to anything else in my mind, but it just seems a bit smaller than I remember. Maybe it is similar to when you are a child and certain things or places seem huge, but when you come back years later those things seem to have shrunk. Obviously, nothing around me has changed but I know that I have. And often until you come across moments like those you don't even realize how you have changed. So Andy and I sat there on the levy watching the sunset and reminiscing. On our time in Cincinnati, but also over our last year. Sometimes as I have been back this summer it has seemed so surreal. Here are places that are so familiar to us but yet at the same time they seem different. While I know that my perspective has changed, I can't always point at something specific and say, "That. That is the difference in me." But I do think that one of the biggest differences this year has brought about in me is my willingness to adapt. And really the expectation that I will need to adapt on a daily basis. This last year has often brought me to the point where I realize that my attitude about an event or circumstance makes all the difference. Because I often have little control about the circumstance or problem, only my reaction to it. Really that is true no matter where we live, but I think it just becomes more pronounced living in such a radically different culture. And as I have had ups and downs, I am realizing more and more that choosing to have joy and see humor in crazy circumstances drastically alters the outcome. Not necessarily of the event but maybe my remembrance of it and how it impacts me and our family. Wow, how did I get from our date night to here? I guess as I remember all that we were talking about, I got to thinking. One conclusion that Andy and I realized is that we are so glad that we took that step and made the move last year. What an adventure it has been!

Beautiful Suzhou

I spent most of last week sick. Feverish and just feeling lousy. Monday I started feeling like myself again. But I had a ton of errands to do this morning! Amazing how things pile up when you are not feeling well. I set off to pay for the gas, put more minutes on my cell phone, among other things. Of course as I was doing these things, I floundered along using broken Chinese (and at one point seriously needing the help of a bank employee to know which button to push on the machine that uses only characters). But as I was walking home, I was struck by how much I love it here. Yes, I don't always understand why something is happening. But I look forward to understanding culture more so I do. Yes, things are not familiar. But in fact, I am becoming accustomed to the unfamiliarity. I wonder how the U.S. will feel unfamiliar and different this summer when we visit. Yes, learning Chinese is hard... but also rewarding. Throughout the last 11 months, I have really come to appreciate where we live. While I am really looking forward to visiting the US this summer (less than 2 months!), this is home. 

Update to the Blahs

So, I am happy to report that my blahs are fading somewhat. Doesn't that sound like some kind of serious medical condition - the blahs. Amazing what lunch with friends and seeing some other friends in the evening can do for my outlook! I am so social and being at home for so long is definitely NOT a good idea. The next couple days will be busy (which I am actually excited about). It is so good to be back in the routine and not sick. Now let's just hope the weather gets warmer and stops raining (though as my environmentalist daughter tells me, "but Mom we need the rain. It is good for the earth." Man, who teaches her this stuff.... wait, it might be me)!

Blahs

This happens to me about the same time each year. I long for Spring and warmth. I get tired of wearing sweaters (and this year long underwear). I just get the Winter blahs. But this year has a new twist to it. Right now I am longing for home. I told this to Andy last night and he asked me, "which home?" And I responded with, "Yes, exactly!" We are by no stretch of the imagination nomads, but I feel pulled. 

I have been sick this week, and I think we all want comfort when we are not feeling our best. We want comfort foods, people we are comfortable with, and places that are comfortable. While I love living here, this is definitely NOT my comfort zone. I miss the familiarity of life in the US. I miss Target and going to the library. But most of all, I miss everyone who is dear to us back in the States. I am sure that it is not helping that I am currently looking for flights for our trip back this summer.

But even as I write this, I am remembering Becca and Josh singing a song in Chinese this afternoon and hearing Tori have a short conversation with someone in Chinese. I don't want to gloss over what I am feeling, but I want to REMEMBER..... Remember what a gift and opportunity it is to be here. Remember how much this is growing and shaping each member of our family. And remember that this is a season with ups and downs.

More time on my hands

After Chinese New Year, Tori will begin preschool 3 mornings a week. How is my baby growing up so fast? With this rapidly approaching (Chinese New Year starts next week), I have been pondering what to do with my time. I have several options.... a couple of volunteer opportunities and then there is always more intensive language learning. I am trying to figure out what will not only be the best fit for me but also our family. I feel like this first half a year I didn't want to jump into anything too much to ensure that all of our family was adjusting well. But for those of you who know me, I am not one to just sit around. ;-) Tori starting school only re-emphasizes that I want to be intentional with the gift of this time that I have here. So, be thinking of me over the next couple of weeks as I ponder how to spend my time....

New Habits

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The end of a year and the beginning of a new one always makes me a little introspective. This has been a year of enormous transition for us as a family. I found it incredibly interesting how we have picked up new habits just from living here a bit more than 7 months. Now I have blogged about things we like, some things we miss/have not done, but here is our list of new habits.... Don't misunderstand me, it is not like we are integrating 'cause face it folks, we will never blend! ;-) 

New Habits

• The way I cook is radically different. Not only do we eat a lot more Chinese food, but the way I prepare is different as well. When you make Chinese food, it is important to get all the ingredients chopped and ready ahead of time. Andy teases me that I look like a chef on TV with all of my bowls lined up and ingredients ready to be used, but I love doing it this way! And I do this no matter if I cook Western or Chinese food. :-)
• Hot water. Chinese rarely drink cold water. In the summer, they will drink room temperature water, but in the winter if you order water in a restaurant it will be steaming hot. Andy and I both do this now and don't think of it as strange. (A year ago when we visited I thought it was really different) Now hot water in the summer, hmm....
• Long underwear. (I know that you all really wanted to know this!) Since we live south of the Yangtze River, most of the buildings are not heated. At least not centrally heated like we think of. We have heaters in our house, but they are individual room heaters. Generally, we only use the downstairs main heater during the day and then our bedroom heaters at night. So the core of our house is somewhat warm, but venture much farther than the living room and it can be quite chilly. Even though it is not as cold outside as it is in the Midwest, inside buildings can really be chilly (even stores). Since I really do not like to be cold, I have taken to wearing multiple layers (and also dress our kids this way) -- and I am talking at least 2 layers! Remember that if you visit us in the wintertime.....
• New expressions. This is a combination of us learning Chinese and also living with people from other cultures. Instead of saying "no problem", I almost always say "meiyou wenti" (the Chinese equivalent). And Becca says "no worries" (from her Australian teacher). Our speech is now peppered with them. In fact, one of our nicknames for Tori has morphed from "Little T" to "Xiao T".

As we embark on another year of our adventure here, I am excited for what lies ahead. I know that our immediate family has grown closer. Even though we see them less, I feel like we have grown more intentional about communicating with our extended family. I have definitely let go of some control issues (you almost have to) and believe that I am developing more patience with people (at least I hope so). How else will we grow and change?

Technology

I'm back! Well, you probably didn't notice that I was gone, but I have been without internet for almost the last week. Nothing makes you realize how dependent you are on the computer until it stops working. I recently read another friend's blog about the good and bad of technology. As I was without it myself, it got me to pondering as well..... what would I do without my modem and computer? When I was in the US, the internet was a convenience and a luxury. Sure, I missed it if it was not working, but here it was a whole new level. I felt lost without it. I don't really know how to describe it.... my computer is my phone (thanks Skype), my source of communication, and my window into your lives. I was talking with another expat and we agreed that we would almost rather be without water than the internet. Makes you think, how hard was it to live so far away when you needed to rely only on letters? Really it just makes me thankful for technology and how it allows me to stay connected from the other side of the world!