Which stop?

So another funny thing happened on the bus today. I was coming home from a friend's house and was trying to see if a direct bus went from there to our house. I read the sign and thought that it said that the 33 stopped at the stop by our neighborhood. When the bus pulled up, I asked the driver if he went to that stop. He said that he did, and I got on. But then as we are getting close, maybe 3 or 4 stops away, he hollers (of course in Chinese): "Foreigner, are you getting off?" He proceeded to do this at each stop, until I did get off. Funny stuff. I felt like he was worried about me. That I was lost or something. I wonder does this stuff happen to other foreigners?

Saying Goodbye Again. . . and Again

. . . and yet again. Friends of ours are leaving. They found out 4 weeks ago and are moving back to Germany. Yes, you read that right. In 4 weeks time, they found out, packed their entire house and will be getting on a plane Monday to move to another country. So no more complaining about your moves, people. Their son is one of Josh's buddies (in fact he is one of the boys that was in the pic in the last post). I found my boyo crying one morning this week. When I asked him why, he said he was really going to miss Marcus. Last year at the end of the school year, Becca said goodbye to 4 friends. Another of our friends might be moving this summer. They don't know yet. I know this is just the nature of living in the expat community. People are always coming and going. The great thing is that new families are also moving in, but part of me just gets grumpy. Do I have to say goodbye again? And then on the other side of that equation, do you have to get to know another group of people only to say goodbye yet again in a year or two?

Please, don't misunderstand me. We absolutely love living here and cannot imagine moving back right now. BUT. . . I just don't want all my friends to move away either. [sigh] We have friends who have lived here for 10+ years. When they meet new people, they ask them straight out how long that family plans to live in China. If you answer anything less than 3 years, they just might spend less time with you. While that seems extreme, I can see their point. But the optimist in me, she just can't help it. She still reaches out and wants to get to know people. But for today, I am just going to wallow in my grumpy for a while. I am ignoring my optimist. She might be back tomorrow.

Maybe.

Chinese lesson 1.1

Now that I have been studying Chinese for a while, I feel it is my duty to share this knowledge with you all. Don't worry, I will go slow. Actually, I just want to teach some of our favorite words and phrases. Most of these are now so part of our lingo that even when we are speaking English sometimes we use one of these because it just says it so perfectly. So let the lessons commence.

But first, I feel like I need to give you a little background. Each Chinese character has a reading (the way you pronounce it) and meaning. Put various combinations of the 1000s of characters together and you form words. But unlike English, each character is usually a word on its own. But when combined with another character(s), it forms more complex words. Are you tracking with me so far? During the 1950s, someone came up with a way to transcribe these characters in order to teach. This pronunciation method is called pinyin. Nowadays, people also use pinyin to input Chinese into computers and when sending texts. But where it gets complicated is that while pinyin uses the English alphabet, most of the letters are not pronounced the same way. Are you still with me? 

Because it would be too complicated to teach you how to say each thing in pinyin, I will show you the character and the pinyin, but then in parenthesis I will write it out phonetically the way it sounds. Okay, we have all of that out of the way. Oh, wait. I forgot about the tones. Hmm, maybe we will leave that for another day. Just know that the marks above the letters mean something and we will get there.

One of our favorite and a very useful phrase/word is: 差不多 pinyin: chàbuduō (cha-boo-dwoe). The meaning:

1. Similar or about the same. e.g. You and I are about the same height. 差不多

2. Approximately or just about. This is my favorite usage. For example: Is the part for the machine the right size? 差不多. 

Do you know the way to go (when asking a taxi driver)? 差不多. Ah, the uses are endless.

Alright, that is the lesson for the day. Astound your friends and neighbors with your knowledge. Or at least, impress us when we come back this summer. 

Happiness is . . .

I was reading another blog yesterday and someone posted about things that made her happy. It reminded me of the day before when I had been looking back over pictures of the last year. And even before reading her blog, I was smiling and thinking of why each of those pictures made me happy. Really they made me happy because our kids, my amazing husband, and our crazy life makes me happy.  Those pictures made me happy because each one represented a memory, a fun experience. So in the midst of a week of sickness, I am reminded of what it is that brings me joy and happiness.

Happiness is . . .

. . . finding joy when things don't go as planned. When it is only 65°F for your beach vacation. But then that time turns out even better than what WE imagined.

. . . jumping in the waves in a sweatshirt.

 Happiness is . . .

. . . hearing the kids beg to "Read just one more chapter, Mom." 

. . . sharing the love of a great book together. When we travel, we take a book to read as a family. And we have literally read on a plane, while waiting for a train, in a boat, and while drinking yummy floats.

Happiness is . . .

. . . embracing every step of the journey. 

Happiness is . . .

. . . watching your kids grow in their self-confidence. And knowing that they are happy.

Happiness is . . .

. . . enjoying the ridiculousness of our kiddos. Tori was absolutely insistent that she was not going on the  Rafting Ride unless we guaranteed her that she would NOT get wet. 

Happiness is . . .

. . . cousins! Time with family is a precious thing, but it becomes an even more sacred and wonderful thing when you live so far away. (Though to be fair, this cousin and his Mom and Dad are practically our neighbors, living in Japan)

And most of all, happiness is . . .

. . . the adventure of life. The happy, healthy days and the sick, sad ones as well. 

So what is making you happy today?

A sleepy, sick week

This has been a week filled with tea, lots of vitamin C, naps, and not much else. Because when Mom is sick, then just not a lot of other things get done. I spent most of Monday and Tuesday on the couch. Fever, sore throat, chills, the works. This would be one of those times where I am so thankful for our ayi (house help). Yes, one of the perks of living in China is house help. And while I used to feel guilty (and honestly, if I could share her with you all, I would), but really I don't anymore. She is such a blessing to our family, and I know that we are same to her (she has said as much). But anyway, she made dinner, picked up kids and just kept things running smoothy. 

Finally, Wednesday as I was turning the corner, Tori stayed home from school complaining that her tummy was hurting. That afternoon, I got a call from the kids' school that Becca had a headache and wanted to come home. This would be one of those moments where it is more difficult being in China. I couldn't just drive over and pick her up. In order to get her, I need to call my driver and have him pick me up, wait for the 20 minutes for him to arrive from the company, drive to her school (another 25-30 minutes) and then back. No, not a simple solution. So, since the school was letting out for an early dismissal in just an hour, I told her to hang in there and just come home on the bus. Seems heartless, but it was going to get her home quicker than the other method. And last night, Josh complaining that his head was hurting and he didn't feel well, voluntarily went to bed at 7. Today, he woke up with a fever of 39°C (103°F). I debated going to class, but even though our ayi was going to be here this morning, I stayed home. Cause I just had a feeling that my boyo would want me. About an hour later, I knew this was the right decision. "Mommy! Mommy!" Josh was hollering for me. I ran upstairs to see what he needed.

"What's wrong, buddy? Can I get something to drink for you? What do you need?"

"Nothing. I just wanted you, Mommy." My heart melts to hear my big boy say this.

So as he dozes, I am sitting here beside him. Typing and loving on him. That's the kind of week it has been for us. I hope that your week has been healthier than ours!

Parent-Teacher Meeting with a twist

Yesterday, I had to go to a Parent-Teacher Meeting at Tori's school.

***Keep in mind through the rest of this post that this entire meeting was conducted in Chinese. They spoke Chinese. I stuttered along in Chinese. No English was spoken. Just getting that out there.***

 I arrived at the school and we were directed to a room and given hot tea. I had received a note last week that there would be a meeting, but couldn't quite discern what the topic of discussion was going to be. Because, you guessed it, the note was in Chinese. All total there was about 25-30 parents/grandparents. One of the teachers started the meeting welcoming everyone and thanking us for attending. She explained that we were going to be talking about _______________ and they wanted to hear everyone's thoughts and opinions. Seriously, that is all that I understood. I kept listening, hoping that she would further explain it. But, oh no. Her next words were: "And to start off we will hear from our foreigner parent." My heart stopped. And all eyes were on me. I started to explain that my ideas may not be the same as theirs, but I was looking forward to hearing others' opinions as well. I mean, what else could I say? Thankfully, at this point, the teacher interrupted me and introduced me to the other parents. Then maybe she could tell I was totally lost and had pity on me. Because she then re-asked the question: "Why do you pick your child up early from school?"

Yes. Thank you, Wang Laoshi! I explained that I pick Tori up early 2 days a week to teach her to read in English. The teacher then moved on to asking other parents what their reasons were for picking their children. The kids did not like the food, had trouble sleeping at school, got sick when they slept there, . . . After they had heard all of our opinions, there was a teacher that I had not met who spoke. Just for the record, they told us his title - I think he was with the bureau of teaching - but I kind of missed that part. He explained that they were then going to discuss each of these issues and hopefully could come to an agreement.

So, he turned to me and said first we will discuss teaching English. Just for the record, I really liked this teacher. He listened well and really wanted to understand each individual viewpoint. We then (and by we, I mean: the male teacher asked me questions, I answered them, and all the other parents sat there and listened) discussed what/how/why I teach Tori for the next 10 minutes. Actually, it could have been longer. I know that it felt like 30 minutes, but maybe that was just my nervousness? He wanted to know why I was teaching her. I explained that at some point we would go back to America and Tori would need to know how to read so she could attend school in English. At this point, he asked: what language do we speak at home? English. Was I just teaching her to speak? no, to read English books

And this is where it got confusing for him. The concept of "teaching to read" is a newer concept in China. Especially teaching phonics. Most often, when Chinese learn English they learn it much like they do Chinese characters - through memorization of whole words. I tried explaining it further, but could tell he was just not quite understanding me. Thankfully he moved on to helping me try to "solve" this problem. Could Tori learn to read in the evenings? I explained that I have other children who are home in the evenings and we often have other things going on. I also told him that she goes to bed early so there was not enough time. After what seemed like a long time, he moved on to address the other issues. Thankfully, I did not have to talk again.

When the meeting was over, I approached the principal's assistant for clarification and asked her: So, I will or will not be allowed to pick up Tori early any more? She said, no that I could still pick her up early. Huh? There is so much about this whole experience that could be a lesson in cross culture awareness. Like the wanting to address all of these issues as a group all the way through to that even if there is a rule sometimes there is an exception. Honestly, though when I left I wasn't even thinking about that. I was EXHAUSTED. And I really wanted chocolate. Because even though I speak Chinese a lot on a given day, there was just a different kind of pressure in this environment. Most of the time I am speaking with friends who like me no matter how bad my Chinese is. Or shopkeepers/taxi drivers/general people I don't know. Can I just say again that learning a language keeps you so humble? So everyone reading out there, if you come across someone in the US (or where ever) who doesn't speak English well, give them some grace. Think of me, living here for almost 3 years, and still not fluent, and give them some extra patience. But because I am too much of an optimist not to look at the bright side, my listening comprehension in the midst of this was pretty good. I think I got about 85% of what was being said. I just hope it doesn't take another 3 years of studying this hard for my speaking to catch up with my listening!

My ride

Friends of ours have been back in US for a while and I have been borrowing their e-bike. They are coming back tomorrow and [gasp] I will have to give it back! Andy has already conceded the inevitable -- there is an e-bike in our very near future. And I have been pondering exactly what I want in a bike. But above you can see the kids and I after eating out with friends. I must say that while it is really common to have more than 1 person on a bike (actually, who are we kidding, it is really common to have more than 2), the 3 blondes kind of take it to the next level. And we get quite the looks with all 4 of us on the bike. Now before you get super worried about me transporting all the kids this way, it is not like being on a bike in the US. Most roads have a special bike lane and the cars are just much more used to watching for bikes. All that being said, I still only have a very limited radius that I will take all the kids on the bike with me (1-2 blocks). So I have gone from a minivan to this. Quite the change, don't you think?