Freeing the feet

A friend and I started an annual tradition a couple years ago. When Spring starts to peek around the corner, we begin to talk about it and dream about the day we can:

free our feet from their sock bondage!

Now to most of you that might sound like a simple pedicure. And it is, but it is also more for us. Winter here is cold and damp and really just miserable. It is not that it is any colder than where we are from in Ohio. In fact, the temps here are usually warmer, but it is this strange thing that you just cannot get and stay warm. I am northern girl through and through (not a Southern magnolia unused to cold winters) and laughed when everyone told me how cold it got here. But a big factor is that inside it tends to be colder than outside. Somehow these concrete buildings (and that includes our house that is constructed primarily of concrete) act as refrigerators. Combine that with poor insulation and inefficient heating, and it leads to this chill that just never leaves you. So after one winter here, I decided I would react as the Chinese do -- and layer up. From the months of December to March, I live in long underwear. In January, I was even doubling up with tights, long underwear, and THEN jeans! For us our first pedicure of the year, means saying goodbye to our long underwear and saying hello to . . .

pretty toes!

Though I must mention as an aside something funny that happened during the pedicure. Since I have started running, my big toes often have a crack in them. It doesn't hurt so obviously, I keep running. The guy who was doing my toes inspected it, called someone else over and then they began to question me about it. I told them that I run long distances, this often happens and it is not a problem. That all they needed to do was cut and paint the nail. It is actually really common in runners. Here is an article about it. But clearly, they didn't believe me. In fact after my pedicure was done, the nail technician gave me some advice: 休息一会，别跑步。[meaning: Rest for a while, don't run.] Hmm, while I appreciate the thought somehow I don't think I will be following that advice. 

While running. . .

I have run for several years now. When it starts to get cold here, I take my run to the treadmill. Because as it gets wet and slippery outside, dodging e-bikes, buses and trucks becomes a little too challenging. I prefer to run outside, but running in China is seriously an extreme sport. Because of where we live, I run in a largely industrial area. To be honest, I could run more in the city, but that means more traffic (bikes and cars) and the blocks are shorter so I have to cross the road more often. So I run by factory after factory. But that is not really what makes it extreme. In my daily life (shopping, on the bus, walking down the street) I get stared at, but when I run, it seems that the world stops and watches. I might be exaggerating a little (cause I have been known to do that from time to time), but only a little bit. Part of the reason that many people stare is that exercise is just becoming more common in the last few years in China. For many people, life is hard and there is no reason (or even time) to exercise. And many jobs are so physically demanding that people have no need or desire. Even though gyms are becoming more and more common here in Suzhou, people are still shocked to see a foreign woman running down the street. Another reason I get stared at is that many people think that I must be cold running in shorts. In fact, yesterday when I was running, a man on a 3-wheeled bike with a cart came alongside me and started keeping pace with me. He asked if I was cold. Keep in mind that it was in the upper teens (speaking Celsius, in the 60s Fahrenheit). He then commented that running was good for my health. Then he asked me where I live (and this is not a creepy question, this is a common thing to ask someone). Finally, because he had to turn he stopped talking, otherwise I think he would have kept firing questions at me. On the same run, these are just some of the experiences that I had:

• 5 people took my picture. At least that I saw, there could have been more. I wanted to tell them that I wasn't very exciting while running.
• At least 10 people called out "hello!" to me. And this is a very common occurrence, pretty much happens at least once a day. Sometimes it makes me perversely want to say something to them in  French. Well, if I could I would speak French. Ironically enough, our French friends also get "hello" yelled to them in English all the time.
• Almost caused an e-bike crash. Though it would not have been my fault. He kept looking back at me even after he passed me and almost hit another bike. (And this is not the first time that this has happened)
• Had to stop in the middle of the road because a bus came through a red light.

All I can say is, can you see why sometimes the treadmill is just easier?

Outgoing

The power of our cutie. We hope to harness this for good. . .

Our little T really just knows no strangers. Combined that with her fluency in Chinese and you have quite the combination. She has been known to ask total strangers to give her some of what they are eating (and, much to my embarrassment, they DO give it to her), ask people what they are doing, and just insert herself into most situations. When we were in Shanghai a couple weeks ago, someone gave up their seat for her on the subway. She sat down next to this young woman who was playing a game on her phone. Of course Tori asked her what she was doing and then if she could play (naturally, this was all said in Chinese). Sometimes I worry that we are creating a little monster that expects that everyone will give her what she wants. While she is not singled out at school in most situations, there are times when she is given special privileges. Then as we go about life people just give her stuff. Part of it is her general cuteness and then with her language, people cannot resist the power of Tori. In order to combat this, sometimes at home I don't let her do things or have her way. And sometimes there is not a reason for it, just maybe hoping to provide some balance. While her language is a gift that we are so thankful for, there is a price and I only hope that our consistency and rules at home can balance it out.

A Traveling we will GO!

People often ask us (both here and in the US), "How do you travel so many places with your kids? Don't they melt down? Is it stressful?" And in answer to these questions, I guess they travel well because we really don't give them a choice since we have traveled with them since they were born. Yep, we just drag them with us. Andy and I love to travel, so for us it became travel with kids or don't travel (since traveling without them just doesn't appeal to us). While there are special trips we have taken just the two of us, for the most we enjoy taking the kids with us. I think sometimes the thought of traveling with little people can be worse than the actual deal. And yes, our kids melt down just like yours do. And I have lost count the number of places where our kids have gotten sick. I am sure that you don't want those details! But over the course of our travels, we have learned a few hints that can turn a trip from stressful to enjoyable. I hope I don't come across that we have it all together and our kids are always well behaved on every trip. In fact, most of these we have learned through crashing and burning  - the hard way!

Hint #1: Begin traveling with your kids when they are young. Don't be afraid that you can't do it. Andy and I have a theory that ours have adjusted well to traveling here because we took MANY car trips with them in the States. And if they are used to waiting in a car/bus/train/plane then each time gets easier. Well, at least in theory. Surprising for many people that when I do the 24 hour+ trip from the US to China with the kids (by myself) that the hardest part is the not the 14-hour plane ride. Yes, it is long. But the hardest part is navigating the airports themselves. Even the standing in long immigration lines is not hard. Tiring, yes. But not hard. Because our troupers know what to expect. While it is not their favorite of things, they know that it has to be endured.

I think that since we traveled with her since she was born, she can fall asleep ANYWHERE! (on the train from Shanghai)

Yes, she is asleep! (on a boat on the Li River, South China)

Hint #2: Pack snacks. Or find them on the way. When we first would travel and our kids were little, I applied "home rules" to travel time. You know, things like, don't eat too many snacks, don't eat them too close to meals, yada, yada. . . But I have found, when our kids get grumpy we eat. Whether it is 10AM or 3:30PM, we just stop and find a snack. Or even a complete meal. Then often in these down times, we have a great time with our kids. We talk, laugh and have time to just enjoy them. We have found Starbucks in crazy locations and then enjoyed. . . (well, this leads me to our next one)  reading a book together.

Kids choosing a snack while I bargain for a good price (Xi'an, China)

Mmm, meat on a stick! My boy's idea of the perfect snack. (night market Hua Hin, Thailand)

Hint #3 Have a bag of tricks. It could be as simple as a few crayons and a notebook or a handful of small toys. One of our kids absolutely favorite things to do when we travel is to read a book as a family. We pack a longer book (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was our first and recently we read Redwall) and whenever we have to wait somewhere, we pull out the book and read a chapter. And suddenly our tired kids who have been waiting in line for over an hour perk up and are ready to go on. (and this is not an exaggeration, we have waited in lines for 3 hours or longer. After all, this is China with SO many people and sometimes you just have to wait) Find what works for your family.

my iPhone would be part of my bag of tricks (Starbucks in Chengdu, China)

Hint #4 Be flexible. While we generally have a plan of what we want to see and do, we have learned to allow some flexibility in the midst of that plan. If you have a particularly busy day, follow it up by a low key one. Often when I let go of my plan and am just enjoying is when we find those unexpected things: a lake where we can rent row boats, a man painting Chinese characters on the sidewalk. Another thing we have started experimenting with is letting our kids take turns to plan a day, excursion or even part of our time. They come up with things that we would never have thought of!

Skipping rocks on the bank of the Li River (Guilin, China)

Totally unexpected -- a puppet show that the kids got to participate in. (Xi'an, China)

One of those finds - a fountain that had a nightly light show (Chengdu, China)

Riding stone lambs (Hangzhou, China)

Our kids were getting tired of all the walking in the Yellow Mountains. Becca and Josh came up with the idea to count all the steps and see which was the longest. (Huangshan (Yellow Mountains), China)

Now we will need to apply these as we are scheming and dreaming about our fall trip. We are undecided about where to go, but on the list of possible places are: Tibet, Xinjiang (the northwest province of China, on the border with Kazakhstan), or Inner Mongolia. Oh, yes a traveling we will go!

Chinese lesson 1.2

A couple posts ago, I started with a fave word to teach you just a little Chinese. We will pick up with another favorite and very useful word. 麻烦 pinyin: máfan (this one is somewhat easy to pronounce: maa-fahn, not really fan. Think more nasal). The meaning:

1. Troublesome, inconvenient; To trouble, or bother somebody. e.g. "Because of all the construction, that road is really a bother to drive on." But this is one that even though I say that sentence, I am not sure that you get the full meaning of  麻烦 . For example, think of something that is such a pain to do that it is virtually impossible. And then you are getting close to the meaning. Because sometimes things in China are just difficult to get done (for various reasons), and nothing else describes it like this word. In fact, we don't even say this in English anymore. We will be talking along and drop this word in the midst of an English sentence. Chinese do this as well. One of the engineers at the company was talking to Andy about fixing a machine. He said that, "It would be broken for a couple more days and then they were going to have to build the part and it was going to . . . " (and here he paused, trying to think of a good way to describe it) . . . and finally he summed it up with: "it is going to be 麻烦 ."

2. Excuse me (with the intent of asking a question), . . . Because much like in English if we are going to ask a question of a stranger, we don't usually just walk up and jump in. Usually we say something like: "Excuse me, where is the  . . . ?" Similarly, in Chinese you would say: "麻烦 您, . . ." which literally means: "Can I bother you, . . . ?"

I think next lesson, we will tackle the tones. You know, those funny marks over the vowels. That adds a whole new level of hard.

Field trip?

Today Tori went with her kindergarten on her 春游 (Spring Field Trip). We got a notice last week informing us of the trip and all of the particulars. You know, the where, when, what they need to bring, how much. All that good info. But of course it was in Chinese. I wish I could just show you typical communications from the school. I read it (well, sort of) and figured out the day, the cost, and what she needed to bring. But I had no clue where she was going. When she was talking about how excited she was and how much she was looking forward to going on her trip, I asked her where she was going. Her response: "I don't know." Then today after school, I was trying to figure out exactly what they did. She told me that they went on a carousel, saw a seal show, saw sharks and jellyfish, rode on a shark scrambler, and saw a real mermaid swimming with really flat fish. I guessed the aquarium. When I asked her about it, she said, "No, not the aquarium." But after talking more, I just don't think she knew what an aquarium was. I think is one of those times I will just need to make an educated guess. Cause when your information is obtained in Chinese and then via a 5 year old, it is not that reliable. ;-)

But regardless of where they went, she had a FABULOUS time. In fact, she talked non-stop about the trip throughout dinner and the evening. My favorite part of her description was when she was describing the real mermaid that she saw. In her words: "She was really, real. She was swimming with the flat fish with wings (known to the rest of us as rays). But I think she was just an 呵姨 (ayi)* dressed up"

**呵姨 (pronounced: ayi) literally means aunt, but is the polite way to refer to women who are about your moms age. kind of like the equivalent of ma'am or miss in English.

Travel stress

Becca is our worrier. In fact, I often tell people that I don't need to worry about things because Becca will take care of that for me. This is particularly evident when we travel. If our plane is delayed, she worries that we will miss our connection. If we are running late, she worries that we will miss our plane/train/bus/boat (as the case may be). When we were in Vietnam for Chinese New Year, the kids and I were going to return to China by ourselves and Andy was going to immediately start traveling for business. We got to airport to check in and were told that they had overbooked the flight and we were going to have to take a flight back to China the next day. Andy and I proceeded to argue with the airline representative, to no avail. If we were in the US or even China, I don't think that I would have worried about flying the next day. And while I had enjoyed our time in Vietnam, I was ready to go back home to China. As we were discussing things with the check-in attendant, she was fairly insistent that the kids and I were going to have to fly the next day. Suddenly, it proved to be too much for our girlie who of course had been listening in to every word. She burst into tears. And within minutes, the kids and I went from not getting on flight to being upgraded to business class.

This week we had a holiday (Tomb Sweeping Day) and we took the opportunity to go to Shanghai for the day. We enjoyed a great day. Took the bullet train in -- only 25 minutes from Suzhou to Shanghai. We then met up with friends for lunch. After lunch we went to the Shanghai Science and Technology Museum. Finally, we finished our day up with dinner out. Truly a terrific day as a family. After dinner, we had a little bit of time. Andy wanted to walk down to the river, but B was worried about missing our train. Andy insisted that we had time, so we started walking. We got to the Huang Pu (the Pu River) and Becca was stressed out, feeling that we needed to go catch the subway to the train station. After less than 5 minutes, we left the river and started the journey to the station with Becca asking every couple of minutes what time it was. Our train was scheduled to leave at 9:04 PM. We arrived on the subway at the train station at 8:50 PM. We then sprinted through security, up the escalator, found our platform (keep in mind the Shanghai Train Station is HUGE), practically threw our tickets at the attendant. Just imagine our family running, and yes the kids were running as well. Tori was running and giggling the whole way. We boarded the train and it started moving. Seriously a close one. As Andy said later, "ok, going to the river might not have been the best idea. Not my finest moment."

Now most of travel experiences are not quite so extreme. Through all of our travel, Andy and I generally don't get too stressed about delays or other incidents. We keep waiting for Becca to get to that point. But for now, she just suffers from travel stress. Every time. But Andy and I think we are ready to audition for the Amazing Race. Cause at moments like those, it seems like we are in training for the Amazing Race - family version.